Snowhite and the Huntsman and Charlize

Last Saturday I went to see Snowhite and the Huntsman....yes, I know, ok! Well, enough, let me tell you why I had a tiny little hope for this film. I have always like myths and stories, fairy tales. I like them because they are always valid, their stories reflect the fact that mankind has not changed much in 5000 years...

Ok, nice excuse, isn't it? So, here I am, convinced that for worst that the film could be, Grimm's work would always be there and say...hei! remember, it isn't that bad...well, maybe I didn't hear it.

Clearly the  screenwriter did his best to put up to date the story. That means in our nowadays standard a love triangle between our beloved and suffering Snowhite, the Prince, excuse me, the son of the Duke (ok!) and the widowed Huntsman.

Let's decorticate this, a priori, interesting triangle. Well, duet, because, let's face it, the "Prince" is just there to justify the triangle. His role is null, no presence, no big scene, no nothing. There is a scene with an apple in a forest where I am thinking well, maybe here they have done the twist...but no, of course not. The movie would be the same without the "Prince".

The Huntsman, ah! The Huntsman. Chris Hemsworth, the actor forever associated to Thor, the God Of Thunder that here changed hammer for axe. Chris, stay with Thor, sincerelly. You neither seem depressed nor drunk for a character who is both. Ok, I know, an actor must live and I would do the same for a chance of catching but a glimpse of Charlize Theron bathing in milk, but...well, yes I understand you. Respect!

The Princess, Snowhite, transformed into Princess Mononoke...yes, guys, it is too evident! Our Princess lost her parents, her Stepmother is a beautiful but horrible being and...bla bla bla...but Kirsten, there is something I think everytime I watch one of your movies... being worried and sad does not mean that you always have to look like you are constipated!!

Besides those three, of course the evil Stepmother is there, but well, she is actually not that bad, well she is but it is not entirely her fault, as she is a kind of a Jack Nicholson from the Shining trapped in the past...weird, I know. But as I said before, it is Charlize Theron. Yes, that's the real reason why I am in the cinema, to see the milk bath...and what happens? She goes in, she goes out and covered in milk..a close look at her face with her eyes closed and as you wait for those cold eyes to kill you....the scene is cut there!! Really? Come on guys, really? I could say as well that the dwarves are...well, they are there. But by the time they appear I am looking at my watch and asking why the hell I am here...ah, Charlize!

So, with the main character of Twillight as Princess and combat style as boring as Hunger Games,  you have a Big Mac for teenagers. Not to mention the fact that that any possible chemistry between our beloved Snowhite and either of her pretenders smells like, to put in scholar words, methane. Not even Charlize can save it, but! it is not her fault!

Dear readers, if any may be, may this critic help you or better, makes a smile wake upon your face!

Until next time!